headfullocrap

Some of the nonsense in my head in a readable format ;)

Another 2 weeks on – progress report

Running was back on the agenda last week on Friday after a full 9 days break due to the pain/injury in my right ankle. So I have managed 5 sessions in total since the comeback from injury.

Friday/Monday/Wednesday/Friday, and oddly for me a bonus run today on Saturday. Times are gradually coming back up again, starting at 20 mins and today’s was 26 mins total running. Every session now is a 4-5 mins walk to warmup then a straight run, no more walking intervals. So I’m almost back up to 30 mins again which was my original target some 4 months ago 😀

The odd thing about adding an unexpected session today is how it actually came about. I looked out of the window around 9am today and it was pouring heavily with rain, and for some bizarre reason I thought “I bet it would be great to go out for a run in that rain!”. Yeah OK, I agree, that’s actually a bit odd. While it’s bad enough thinking it, it’s more than a little mad going out and actually doing it. So I did go out and do it. And it was bloody brilliant.

I managed a full 26 mins run in the pouring rain and felt totally epic at the end of it. Completely energised, I went through a great set of cool down stretches and then a arms/chest session on my weights to finish with (and plank and press-ups to actually finish with 😉 )

I’ve no idea why today’s run came about really, but I’m glad that I’m sat there thinking “ooh I’d like to go for a run” and then rather than just thinking about it, I’m actually going out and doing it. It’s also nice that on a Saturday which is normally a complete rest day fro me that I’ve gone over 4,000 steps on the Fitbit, whereas a normal Saturday doesn’t usually get much over 1,000.

Moving up (very) slowly towards an hour, but not just yet…ouch.

I’ve not written a blog entry in over 2 weeks, and I’ll be honest that is just down to a small element of laziness on my part.

It’s not that I’ve stopped training or anything, but simply that I’ve not made the time to write about my running.

My most recent runs have been stepping up in total time for the week on a steady basis, still abiding by the rule of not increasing total running time for the week by any more than 10%.

Winter is certainly closing in now, and the clocks are now due to go back this weekend when British Summer Time officially ends in the small hours of Sunday at 2am. All this means for me, is that all the time I’d like to be out running will be in the dark, and what a load of crap that is.

The longest run I have managed to do so far has been 43 mins 51 secs and I’d also managed a flat 40mins a week before, which just served to prove to me that I can do it if I want to. If anything that’s proof of a more than 40x improvement from the heady days back in July/August when I struggled with the 60 secs running intervals in the first week of C25K, so I’ve that to be proud of. I now have the fact that I can manage a constant non-stop run in excess of 40 mins, when I remember a 90secs run leading me to think I was going to drop dead from exhaustion. 😀

Sadly, I’m currently injured (thankfully it’s only for the 2nd time since I’ve started) – this time it’s my right ankle and actually more at the front of my foot, which may be nothing more than a strain or maybe something as simple as having laced up my shoes too tight for two runs in a row (something that one of my trusted running gurus had suggested! ;)) . I was experiencing some discomfort on Tuesday evening this week (after my run on Monday) but felt fine again on Wednesday morning. Last night (Thursday) my foot was sore again, and this morning it was much worse, and led me to cancel this morning’s run.

I’ve decided now having skipped today’s run that if I also pass on Monday then, when Wednesday morning rolls around, that will have been a full week off so the one week rest theory will have been applied again, which worked for me so well with the knee injury last time. My left foot and ankle feels fine and I don’t recall any slips or stumbling on Monday to blame for the pain in my right. R.I.C.E as another of my gurus has recommended again – Rest, Ice, Compression and Elevation. That certainly did the trick last time, and I can testify that it already feels more comfortable than it did this time yesterday evening. I’m looking forward to running again next week and coming back stronger as I did last time.

I still haven’t been tracking distance at all but instead using my step counting method with the Fitbit (of tracking my time per 500 steps and checking in each one as a lap on the stopwatch app) and I’m fairly consistent being only varying by around a maximum of 15 seconds throughout my whole run on a regular basis. I’ve also noticed that certain sections of my running time better than others and I’m strongest around 25-50% of the way through the run, and definitely tail off towards the end of the run pace-wise. I’ve done some of the runs differently to mix things up, and I really have three types of run that I’m choosing between now.

Type 1 is when I just run at a normal pace (for me) for a pre-defined time – say 40 mins – just the same as some of the final runs on the C25K. Just running for time.

Type 2 is when I run for a shorter time – say 25 mins or 27mins 30secs at a more intense pace in my current schedule. It’s much more tiring, but balances out by doing less time.

The final type is the one where I just run at a comfortable pace for as long as I can, also bearing in mind where I am as I have to still get back to the flat. The last one of these runs resulted in my longest time 43mins 51secs

Music is still playing a part in my runs and I’ve also found I seem to run better on some days with no music at all as it seems to keep my pace more constant, whereas with music on, I think I’m pacing (maybe even subconsciously) to the track that’s currently playing. I have managed to decide on some days whether I’m going to have music or not in advance, but the option always remains there as the iPhone is with me regardless 🙂

My healthier diet is still on track perfectly, as I’m still happily playing slave to my OCD and stats obsession by tracking every last gram of food I eats in the MyFitnessPal app. The weight loss has slowed but I can see a difference in the way I look now with a lot more muscle, less fat and close to 24kgs lost. I’m feeling trimmer and the running is getting easier. The weight loss is still an aim as I know I’ll find running even more enjoyable with even less weight to cart around 😀

Smoking’s done and dusted and no longer even something on my radar – just a dim and distant memory, having given up over 4 months ago, and not touched one since. I’ve had no cravings at all, and I certainly wouldn’t be where I am now without having given up the tobacco. I’m most proud of that achievement, and having managed to lose weight as well is a great bonus. I hadn’t even intended when I gave up smoking to take up running, but I was wary of the fact that the increased appetite when giving up smoking would lead to me piling on the weight, so I’m glad I decided to get into fitness just a few weeks later and managed to carry it on until now.

My target now is to be able to run non-stop for an hour, just because 🙂 It’s not something I’ve ever considered being able to do, and I’ll be chuffed if I make it. I’m already over 2/3 of the way there. The colder and wetter weather isn’t making it easy though, but I’m managing to keep my dedication and enthusiasm, setting my alarm for earlier in the mornings as required. One day I’ve been out of the door at 6:15am. Me? Yup. Me.

33! (minutes) Go go go :)

Increase total distance by no more than 10% a week. That’s the rule you are supposed to abide by. Makes sense…

No point in overdoing it. That’s where the vast majority of injuries stem from. Other than the obvious falls and trips or stumbles, over-exerting yourself, trying too hard or even merely pushing yourself when you shouldn’t (like trying to run through pain), are all the leading causes of injury.

Trust me, I know. I’ve been there – took note of pace, tried to speed up, stumbled on a poor kerb and ended up taking a full week off. Pretty devastating right at the end of C25K.

So where and how does the 10% rule apply to my running when I’ve made the conscious decision for the time being to ignore distance and concentrate solely on timed runs?

Well, I had been increasing each of my runs by 10% or less in the last 2 weeks with my progression being from 20mins through 22, 24, 25, 27.5, 30 all the way through to today’s 33mins.

So while not sticking strictly to 10% in timing, my relatively steady (read:slow) speed means that each additional minute on the end is progressively slower so I’m not exceeding a 10% distance increase.

This has worked perfectly for me up until now, but I have decided that this week’s other two runs scheduled for Wednesday and Friday morning will also both be 33 mins.

My reasoning behind this is that 33mins is actually my longest ever timed run and I want to feel progressively more comfortable with it before increasing the time which I anticipate will be to 35 mins.

Today’s 33mins run was perfect. Good conditions for me. Not too cold and no chance of being too hot. Foggy and just starting to get light when I started, the time fairly flew by and as is now the norm, no aches, pains or niggles to accompany me whatsoever.

The best way I can improve the same run in my mind is to repeat it, but make a point of somehow making it better.

Whether that means seeing if I go further (in unmeasured distance) as I know my route or whether the number of steps recorded on the Fitbit in the same time is different, I don’t know yet.

I’ll just have to see what Wednesday morning brings. Of course I might simply decide having far too good a run and just run for that extra 2mins 😉

Who knows? Suggestions welcomed…

The quest for 30 minutes…

Into infinity! (run 30 mins) and beyond! (I will see if I want to do any more than 30 mins next time!)

Today’s run was scheduled to be 30 mins, which was a return to match the run I took on the last day of the C25K program last month. With a week of enforced rest due to injury, today was effectively week 11 day 3 of my running (not to any program any more) and I’m actually back where I was exactly 4 weeks ago.

So normal early work shift today so I was up at 06:30 and today straight into running mode. Checked some work stuff I’d done overnight (and forgot to send out an email I should have sent, saying it was all OK!), got dressed, ate a banana and scooted out of the door by 06:45. Plan would be to be back indoors shortly after 07:25 normally having walked 5 mins and run for 30 mins.

So, I was actually back in the door with the run completed at 07:32, having walked to the field across the road, continued until I’d walked 5 mins total, then run for 30 mins, checking in 500 step intervals on the Fitbit (again in 3mins or so intervals)and actually completed around 5,500 steps (about 9 lots of 500 step intervals in running after the intial walk took me up to 800 or so) and then done a really good cool-down set of stretches. Once back indoors I’d run through a set of arm weight exercises with dumbbells, necked an energy tab infused water (500ml), then sat down for 10 mins to sweat 😀

The run itself flew by, so I now know I have the 30 mins stamina nailed, as I got back to it in 6 runs. That was my choice, as having taken a week off I know I could possibly have gone straight back to running 30 mins but I wanted to ease back for fear of exacerbating any potential injury. So I went back in at 20 mins, then up gradually to 22, 24, 25, 27.5 and finally 30 mins. This all seems to have worked perfectly as this 30 mins was easily as good as the last run of C25K a month ago, and if anything, once I’d completed my cool-down I was probably less tired than I was back then. So my recovery has improved.

I think my next step on Monday morning (early) will be to go for 32.5 or 33 mins which will actually be the longest run I’ve done (probably in 30+ years). For now I’ll have a fairly relaxed weekend (that’s the plan!) but keep comfortably active (with kids around that will be easy!) and hopefully set myself up for a good night’s sleep on Sunday and potential PB in “elapsed running time in a single session” on Monday.

Breakfast (at work) was a well-deserved bacon sandwich. So it’s not all about celery since I gained a few hundred extra calories for today with the run, so why not treat myself! 😀

Increased running time from 25 mins to 27.5 mins and…

basically, nailed it.

Back on a normal early morning run, as I had a 10:00 start at work, I was able to get up at the usual 06:30 so no worries about getting up earlier to make more time for the run.

No need for a trip to the supermarket this morning (as I still had bananas left, and the cat still had food!), so I managed to get out of the door by 07:00 for a 5 mins walk to warm up followed by a straight 27 mins 30 secs run.

I can definitely notice the difference when I haven’t managed to eat a banana before running though as I certainly find it more of a struggle further into the running as I start to feel some cramping or the start of a stitch. No such problems if I’ve had that potassium and energy boost. Also I’m never running long enough yet to suffer badly, since my longest run is only the one 30 minute straight session (another one hopefully on Friday!), but I can assure you I notice the benefit.

Today run was broken up again into 3 minute segments which also work out now to around 500 steps or so per “batch”, so along with the audio reminders of time elapsed through the iPhone, I’m also visually checking my Fitbit steps in the app (when it sees fit to work properly since the 2.0 upgrade on IOS7!). I know roughly where my target is in steps and check in every 500 as well.

This helps me to be less concerned about the time, which I’m only listening out for, so I’m not worrying about intently staring at the stopwatch – not that that would actually happen, since the phone sits on my upper arm it would just lead to me running sideways into a tree! 🙂

The parts of the session all seemed to fly by… essentially just up to 9 sets of around 500 steps or until I was told my time was up. No last single minute sitting on its own to worry about either, and boom! there I was over 5,000 steps today before I even got to work.

The weight is still coming off too – I actually weighed in yesterday at my lowest since I did the “get fit, healthy, change my diet and give up smoking all at the same time” program 3.5 months ago.

23kg lost so far and that’s also with a noticeable visual change in my body as I’ve gained a lot of muscle as well as lost fat. So I’m way, way fitter than I was, 104 days off tobacco and feeling unbelievably better.

This fitness lark’s quite enjoyable really 😉

Back up to 25 mins running, and feeling good. Even earlier than usual :O

Last week I ran 3 sessions, of 20 mins, 22 mins and 24 mins, adhering strictly to increasing each time by no more than 10% which seems to be the accepted maximum by which you should increase a running distance from the last one.

So today, rather than add 2 mins and remembering that I have a propensity for “good” numbers I decided to simply increase to 25 mins, thereby allowing my next 10% to be an even increase (on Wednesday) to 27 mins 30 secs and the following one on Friday to a good, even 30 mins flat, thereby being back to my end time from the c25k program.

Knowing I was on an early shift today, and that things always tend to be a bit rushed to get the warmup/run/cool-down/shower/breakfast in before I have to set off for work, I set my alarm for a 6am wakeup call, 30 mins earlier than my usual. I was actually feeling pretty crappy went I went to sleep, so I wasn’t sure if I would feel like going for a run first thing in the morning (or whether I would then leave it until after work). I thought it best to give myself the option, knowing that if I felt fine, I’d be in the mood to run as it always seems to wake me up perfectly and set me up for a good day.

Luckily I felt fine when I woke up at 6am, so after a quick trip to Tesco to get some bananas as I’d run out (and some cat food – not for me 🙂 ), I was off out for a 5 mins warm-up walk and 25 mins run. Knowing I had the extra 30 mins was a great help as even using some of that time to go shopping I knew I wasn’t going to be rushing around quite as much as I have on previous days (last Wednesday take note).

The run itself I split again into 3 mins segments as planned, so I’d have 8 of those then ending with the final minute on its own, which I always tend to enjoy and not struggle with.

So rather than knowing how long there was to go or having any countdown, or “you are half way”, I set an audible note of my time elapsed for every 3 minutes. I made a point of not paying attention so much as I would then be tempted to count them as they passed and then get bothered by my statistics, but rather just to keep running for time and completely ignoring distance, and even again not tracking distance at all.

I’m no longer interested in how far I’m running, just into going for the time as I’m sure I pressured myself into an injury by all that worrying about running a full 5km. Once I get back to 30 minutes running on Friday, I’ll either then keep running 30 mins repeatedly and try to pick up the pace, again paying no mind to distance, or I will keep increasing time until I maybe get up to 45 or 50 minutes. After that I haven’t decided but maybe I’ll do some treadmill work to improve my speed. Again, that’s lower-impact so no stress on knees or ankles.

Also, I am solely running on grass now, except for brief segments where I cross over a path, as I’m sure that it’s the pounding pavements/concrete that knackered my ankle/knee the other week. Bearing in mind I’m back after a recovery period, I’m finding the grass running far better, but as the weather cools down towards winter and eventually starts to turn more inclement (rainy), I might have to invest in some better trail running shoes with better grip. My current shoes are fine, but I could see them starting to struggle if there were any decent amount of rain.

As I’ve said before, cross-country running was always my preference at school over track running, and I’ve never really tried road running until recently and I still don’t think I’m suited to it, what with the addition of the shit state of the kerbs and roads in Southampton (which crocked me).

Today’s run itself was a breeze – all the 3 minute segments swept past with no struggles and the last minute was the complete doddle I’ve become accustomed to. The cool-down felt awesome, and I got some great stretches in, so I’m sure I’ll be well-rested for Wednesday.

I have no pain whatsoever, and 4,700+ steps completed before work 😀

I hit my 7,500 Fitbit step target at work around 2pm today – bonus once more so I’m sat here with no worries about putting the unit on charge which makes a nice change 🙂

10% more…and no more than that :)

So, I’m back to running now after the injury layoff, so yesterday (Wednesday) was the day set for session number 2. After completing Monday’s 20mins successfully, I’ve applied the 10% rule (where you should increase running time/distance by no more than 10%), and set out for a 22mins run.

Again I’m on an earlier start so I still make the decision to run before work. Yes, time is tighter but shortly after getting up most days now I’m raring to go, so there I am again out of the door before 7am.

Rather than even consider the distance I’m running now, it’s all about the time. 22mins is a kind of odd total time as it only really breaks down into half cleanly, so what I’ve done is go for 7x3mins segments, remembering I’ve never got any problems with a final minute being tacked on. So I’ve set an app to verbally tell me (or berate me) every 3 mins) and keeping an eye on a total time I’m set for a 5mins warm-up walk and 22mins run.

So what was the verdict on this session? Actually it was a complete doddle, so I’m looking forwards to adding another 2mins tomorrow, then next I’ll go from 24 to 25, and so on. I’ve no pain whatsoever and felt very good throughout yesterday. I broke 7500 daily steps again which is back where I want to be now.

24mins is a much cleaner running total time for me, as it breaks down into 8×3, 6×4 etc. While I might miss the final minute I think 6x 4mins sections will make a nice change. Far easier than 2x12mins as well… even though it’s exactly the same. How strange is that?

 

Back in the groove… easy does it

This morning was the first run in a week after I’d crocked my knee and ankle last Sunday/Monday. I effectively injured myself on the Sunday, and then ignored good and sensible advice, felt totally fine on the Monday (which was a complete false dawn), and then managed 5 mins before having to stop and give up the run completely due to knee and ankle pain.

So it was with something of a degree of trepidation that I eased myself out of the door this morning to run in the large field opposite my flat, having also decided that I’m back to running on grass for the foreseeable future. I’m blaming the shit state of the roads and kerbs for the injury so with less impact running I’ll feel more confident and be able to ease myself back into the routine I’d got used to of running 3 times a week.

Initially the plan was to do the run, and reward myself with the latest episode of Breaking Bad, all before heading off to work for a 10am start. My late shift was cancelled today so I was looking for an 8am start today, so there I was juggling things and out of the door before 7am, having given up all hope of the reward of television 😉

The run itself was totally fine, and I consciously set myself to only run for 20 mins, which I consider to be quite good enough, having had a full week completely away from running. I’ll gradually ramp up the time again, remembering I’ve only ever done a maximum of 30 mins anyway, so it’ll be a slow build-up to get back to that level. I’ve dropped all of my targets now, and all this running is purely for me for a fitness thing, so I won’t be timing myself for pace or distance at all until I’m completely comfortable with what I’m doing.

I may do some treadmill or cross trainer work in the free gym at work and I think I’ll benefit from losing a fair few more pounds before I even think of road running again. In fact, I might have decided I don’t want to do road running at all. I’m certainly not interested at the moment in anything like the London marathon. All the stress of that on my knees – no thank you very much. I’ll see how things improve but I certainly haven’t got anything like that on my radar 🙂

I arrived at work this morning feeling great, and I’ve done over 8,000 steps today which is back to my original level, so I’m back in the swing of things. No pain or discomfort whatsoever – result! I’m back, baby.

 

R and R… and R….. and um… R

R & R & R & R & Arrrrr (oops, no that’s a pirate!)

Rest, relaxation, recovery and recuperation. I’m 6 days into a self-imposed running break due to knee/ankle pain. Tomorrow can’t really come soon enough as I should be in a condition to go back out running again and the signs are good so far.

It’s very annoying now that I can’t run, when I’ve actually got used to running and have been getting some enjoyment out of it. I was told on the Sunday to take a week out but after icing knee and ankle and taking it easy, it felt fine on the Monday and I then managed a poor 5mins before breaking down – that will teach me not to listen to someone who really does genuinely know better than me. See? I can admit it! I’m an idiot and I should have listened. 😉

So for the last week I’ve done regular walking which has been fine, but no running whatsoever. I decreased the goal on the Fitbit down from 8,000 to 5,000 daily steps. Looking back through it I’ve been around that but mostly under, so while I’ll admit I’ve been taking it easier than normal, all of that is still being more active than I was 3 months ago, and that’s the only thing that’s really important now.

I completed the 3 months non-smoking and I was officially signed off at the “quit clinic” at the doctors on Thursday. Reason: “non-smoker”. I like the sound of that. 🙂

The diet has remained pretty healthy for the full week – I’ve not had any down moments where I’ve succumbed to a perk-me-up from Mr Ben or Mr Jerry, so I’m pleased with that. I’ve taken the week as a week’s break from running and nothing more than that – and I’m doing it because I want to get back to running, not because I’ve given it up. That’s key for me.

As for running tomorrow, I currently have no knee/ankle pain and have felt nothing at all from there in the last few days, so I think I’ll be good to go. Now I’m not going to be doing anything as stupid as throwing myself straight back into a 5k. That can wait for now, and all that’s important to me is achieving the goals I’ve set myself and being happy with my own progression.

So the 5k itself will arrive in its own time – I think tomorrow I’ll step back into a 20mins run and just see how I feel. I know that after injury you can often come back stronger, so I’m looking forward to seeing if that theory holds true. If I run for 20mins and still feel comfortable, then I might run for another 5, but I might not – I’m just going to see how I feel tomorrow.

Chances are that with me being on a 10-6 shift tomorrow, that I’ll go for putting the run in early morning before work, and I’ve also made the decision that I’m going back to grass running and staying off the paths and roads until such time as I’ve built up some confidence again as that was how/where I got injured.

There’s also the danger of shit surfaces around here with pavements, roads and kerbs in a pretty poor state of repair. I remember it taking over 2 years of weekly emails to the council to get a pothole repaired. Now I just don’t bother any more, which I guess is what they really want…

So I’ll do the run in the morning and reward myself with the penultimate episode of Breaking Bad.

Aha! Now I have 2 things to look forward to.

5mins and I’m crocked :( The dangers of too much too soon I guess.

Today was the day I should have been targeting a 5k, so I’ve gone out prepared for a 40 mins session or thereabouts, but had to abandon it just 5 mins into the running as my right ankle hurts. So what have I done… OK let’s step back to yesterday.

It was a nice cool day and raining yesterday and I decided that I’d get my 5k in a day early as I was feeling good and it looked like good weather for running. I took myself down to the local park in the car, so I knew I then had the reward of not having to walk back up the hill when I’d finished. Despite the short distance, it’s an evil hill at the best of times, as either the last part of a run or even after the cool-down. While it’s not overly steep, it’s a steady and straight climb up and pains the legs almost every time I walk or run it.

Anyway, I digress. Down to the park I went around 1pm, all kitted out and I sat in the car and ate a banana, then set up the GPS running app on the iPhone with a decent music playlist. Ready to go and I’d already planned a route away from the park and back round to finish near where I started with a total of close to 5k… all I’d then need to do was carry on until the 5k was done. So a few mins over half an hour and there I am to be back at the car, a 5000m run done and the reward of a nice quick drive back to the flat. Tick off one box in the list of things I want to do.

Or so I thought… I made it through the first 1km fairly comfortably, then the app told me (I shall add in a quite sarky voice, which didn’t help), how piss-poor my pace was and that at the pace I was running, I would be lucky to clear the 5k in 40 mins. I’ll be honest – that’s not much better than a brisk walk (it’s under 5mph), so all my grand ideas and ambitions thinking I would complete my first measured 5k in 34/35mins or so? Complete garbage. So, being the idiot I am and a total slave to statistics, I picked up the pace thinking I’ll drag it back and made it just over another 1k when the narky bitch then informed my it wasn’t that much better. Bollocks to that then I thought; I’ll just run and do the circuit I’d planned to run and forget about the time completely.

I made it about another 200m I suppose when I then felt a nice click in my knee and I stumbled and twisted my ankle. So I stopped running – luckily I’ve not fallen over, but I’m just under half way round so I then know I have to walk/hobble a good 2.5k or more round the route, to get back to the car. So limping round I get into the park where I’d left the car, rip the phone off my arm and cancel and delete the session I’d programmed in, and eventually make it back to the car.

So there I am, painful ankle and knee, and the bonus addition of both shins painful as well, but I think I can put that down to 2.5k of limping as it was only really an ache and not anything more serious.

Completely devastated, got back home, iced it and rested for the remainder of the day and thought that’s it, a good week or so out with nothing. Or so I thought. I felt totally fine this morning and made it through the whole day with no pain whatsoever, so I thought I’d go out for a run earlier and just programmed in a 33mins run. 10% more than my previous maximum time run as I thought I was being sensible and “playing by the rules”, but 5 mins in and my right ankle is hurting me. Sense told me to stop the run, and since I’d only gone over to the large grassland area across the road, the walk back didn’t involve the “hill of doom”.

Thanks go out to a good friend for talking me down yesterday. I’m now taking the rest of the week off. It had been suggested to me that swimming would be a good recourse to exercise and not lose that aerobic improvement, but unfortunately since I actually despise swimming in all shapes and forms like you would not believe (and always have done), that’s not an option for me. I get no enjoyment whatsoever out of it, can’t make any distance and to be honest I could only swim if my life depended on it, and even then not very far.

So it might have to be the rowing machine in the gym at work until I feel like I can run again. Admittedly it’s only an ankle twist, but I’m not chancing it and putting myself out for weeks.

Very pIssed off…